Maybe I need to cry but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that I couldn't stop the tears from oozing continuously because I know, once I let them out, one thing will eventually lead to another. Nanti akan ada macam episod, suddenly everything has nexus between them, connecting this & that. Once keluar, susah nak stop. So, it's better to not let them out at all. Hehe!
I'm a type of person who talks a lot & laughs even at the silliest thing when I'm sad. Suddenly, my threshold of something funny & serious becomes superficial. And I just came to realize how good I've been lately at concealing what I truly feel. Lawyer-ed much?
And yesterday was the day when I talked & laughed more than usual while on the same time I felt like crying too. I was reciting surah Yaasin after my Maghrib prayer when I suddenly felt a lump in my throat, a sudden urge to cry. But nope, I didn't let them out.
Kuat juga mek ni ye? Hehe!
Perhaps, I'm accepting the fact now that crying won't do me anything although at times, it soothes me. And Allah's plan is much better than mine. I wish I know the hikmah behind all this heartbreak & trial, like right now! But I truly believe that Allah knows best. He surely does
I've done my part & I think, it's time to put a dot on it while on the same time I'll keep praying for the best for everyone. Now, it's time to tawakkul & let Allah decides. So, bismillah ...
Al Jabbar, the Mender of the broken hearts;
From You I seek calmness, protection from the bad & calamity,
May You show me the right way, never let me go astray & heal me completely
From You I seek calmness, protection from the bad & calamity,
May You show me the right way, never let me go astray & heal me completely
