Overwhelmed & Superficial

"A believer is convinced that whatever the Almighty does is the best, even if it is not immediately understood." - Mufti Ismail Menk

"At some point, you just pull off the band-aid & it hurts. But then it's over & you're relieved"
- Unknown

I believe that due to some reasons, I'm now immuned to being sad or whenever I'm on the verge of experiencing something unpleasant. Like come what may, my heart is strong enough to handle it *blows nails*

But I don't know if people would judge me differently. Lols!

Thus, the reason when something good happens to me, I'm kind of afraid or reluctant to fully absorb the happiness or at least let myself feel or truly enjoy it. You know things a normal person will react when he/she is in happy mode. Macam, sengih non-stop sampai mulut cramp? Or suddenly being extra nice with everyone? Or oleh kerana dalam hati ada taman lantas terus muka berseri-seri sepanjang hari?

Truth is, I'm scared that what appears to be something good is actually just superficial. I'm afraid of overwhelming happiness. Not that I don't believe in happy ending, in fact as an optimist, I really do. It's just only me who wants to avoid my fragile self from being hurt again

Of course, once in a while I do feel sad but that's the time when having faith in Allah & making lots of dua come to the rescue! Above all, I believe that things happened for a reason. We plan, He plans but indeed He is the best Planner of all. In Him I put my trust, may He show me the right path & give me the best. Amin... :)