Wad 3U, HUSM

 HUSM, Kubang Kerian, Wad 3U, 21/09/2022 - 28/09/2022

September 2022 is probably one of the hardest & challenging months for me, with Ma being admitted twice to HUSM due to her illness

About 2 years ago, Ma was diagnosed with cirrhosis (end-stage liver disease), kidney stone etc. Reading her yesterday's Discharge Summary made me realize of how many diseases she's been suffering. I don't understand most of the medical terms used in the Discharge Summary & I also can't imagine the pain she has to go through

And tears have been easily oozing lately. Sometimes, whilst I was driving, or taking bath or at my office room. Sometimes, I can't help but to miss Ma's old self, when she was still healthy & strong. She likes attending kuliyyah agama with Abah or her friends where she would drive them with her car & later makan-makan some where. She loved cooking even when she started to fall sick, she would cook while sitting down on the chair 

Often, there are some disturbing thoughts lurking around in my mind & being an overthinking person I'm, they would emotionally affect me for days. Sometimes, I couldn't help to feel that I'm alone in this journey. Feeling hopeless & wish that I could have done better

Looking after a sick parent is mentally & physically tired & challenging. And I pray to Allah swt to always ease my affairs & give me more rizq so that I could provide the best for both of my Parents. Aminn